Back On The Wagon

Man, being at my parents' house was like a black hole of food. I haven't eaten that much in a while. I realized that being there gives me this weird compulsion to NOT STOP EATING. I honestly don't feel that way when I'm in my apartment. Sometimes I feel "noshy" but I don't usually eat until I'm physically ill. Blech.

But now I've escaped and I'm back in lovely Queens, supplied with some healthy food donated by my mom. I didn't even weigh myself at home because I was too nervous to see what it would say, and I'm probably not going to weigh myself for another week or so. My sister said it was impossible for me to have gained back all the weight I lost...but I wouldn't put it past my quick-reacting body.

BREAKFAST/BRUNCH

Leftover turkey
Leftover risotto
1 clementine

LUNCH

Bagel

DINNER

Turkey
Risotto
Salad

SNACK

1 clementine
2 apples


The binge eater is backkkkkk!

Days Of Eating Poorly

Despite the fact that I've been eating terribly this week (due to anxiety and lack of sleep) I was still able to impress my grandmother with my minor weight loss. Yay!

"You look good," she said, wagging her finger at me. "Keep it up." This part was a bit menacing. "Keep it up. Get as skinny as a bean!"

Later, I made the mistake of admitting how I was really full from Thanksgiving.

Grandma: "It's all that bread!"
Me: "I didn't eat THAT much bread."
Grandma: "YES YOU DID!!!"

Was she watching me eat? Yeesh!

Luckily, my uncle (who is not psycho) also told me that I had lost weight. It was the first thing he said when I saw him, actually. This was nice. It makes me feel like this is working and it's not just in my head. I'm sure I've canceled it all out by this time, but I know I can get back on track. I eat so much better when I control my food. Right now I'm at my parents' house and it's just all-food-all-the-time.

Sleep/Food

I haven't been getting any sleep lately so of course I'm eating terribly. I'm trying to blog even when I eat poorly, so here goes. Basically, I don't usually eat so much
A) Chocolate
B) Straight-up simple carbs (pasta)


BREAKFAST

1/2 cup oatmeal
1 egg
1 brownie


LUNCH

Carrots
Pesto pasta & chicken


SNACK

1 Milky Way
1 Brownie

DINNER

Pesto pasta
Vegetables

One Of Those Body-Issue Type Things

I had a pretty weird/bad day of eating. I also haven't been to the gym in a while, mostly due to TIMING things. I've had lots of interviews/film screenings/social events to go to. In case that sounded too exciting, most of these interviews were along the lines of "Babysit my child for eight dollars an hour."

I'm not even going to weigh myself tonight because I can't imagine it's anything good. Last I checked, I was 144! I just want to think about that number and try to get back into the mindset.

Alice upped my self-esteem tonight when I modeled these black pants from the Gap that I got at the clothing swap. I guess they're flattering? I'm so used to hiding my body in skirts, it's really hard for me to feel confident in pants. I also have a tendency to wear like five bras. It's an addiction that comes and goes...I did it a lot in high school and now I'm back, a la Tobias Funke and his cut-offs. I'm so jealous of all the women out there with their perky boobs. That's why this is one of my favorite 30 Rock moments:



Tomorrow is another day. Sallyforth!

BREAKFAST

Egg white omelette
Rice & Beans

SNACK

15+ little Kashi crackers
1/2 Pomegranate

SNACK #2

Milky Way

DINNER

Chipotle Chicken Burrito

Overeating

BREAKFAST

1 cup oatmeal


LUNCH

Diet Coke :(


DINNER

2 Portabella Veggie Burgers
1 cup of couscous (A LOT)
Spoonful of rice & beans that I was cooking for tomorrow


Of course, with this uneven eating, I feel pretty sick right now. Blagh.

Stay The Course

So yesterday I was pleased with myself because I went out for a friend's birthday and didn't drink at all. Not because I'm worried about alcoholism, just because I didn't want to spend money or waste carbs and calories on drinking. I can usually have just as much fun when I'm sober, and I did.

Then I found $2 in my pocket and got a chocolate bar. Oh, well. It was very yummy. For dinner all I had had were brussels sprouts and an apple, so I was hungry. Today I woke up really hungry and I had stayed the night at my friend's apartment in Park Slope. By the time I took four dumb trains back to Queens, I was really ravenous. So of course I've eaten loads today already.

Tonight I'm going out to dinner with a friend. I think my goal tonight is going to be: I MUST LEAVE A MORSEL OF FOOD ON MY PLATE.

This is my challenge - I always finish my plate regardless of whether or not I'm full. So...I've posted it here and let's see if I can do it.

LUNCH

Chicken noodle soup
2 clementines

SNACK

Oatmeal
Clementine


UPDATE: So I went to dinner and completely forgot about my little plan. However, at the fancy overpriced sushi restaurant, I ordered what I thought was a sushi roll, but ended up just being A PIECE OF SUSHI. One large piece of sushi. Or, rather, two large pieces of sushi. That's no meal (in my book). I also had miso soup.


DINNER

2 pieces of sushi
1 bowl of miso soup

DESSERT

Milky Way

(I've been having so much chocolate-craving lately!)

Snail's Pace

Holding steady at 145...I need to work a little harder at losing these next five pounds. Today is a good example of me eating a lot of dense foods even when I wasn't that hungry. On the plus side, I haven't snacked late at night in a long time.

Thanks for the exercise thoughts, Risch! I definitely feel good about myself when I exercise, because at least I'm burning some calories and doing something productive. Maybe when I do some actual running on the treadmill, I'll feel those magical endorphins. I used to get them when I really lost myself in exercise, like when dancing up a storm. I miss Dance Dance Party Party but it's held on Sundays, when I work at the Museum.

Lastly, every woman's hero (Tina Fey) used to be quite a bit heavier. As if I couldn't love her more - she had a weight problem. Sigh. Here's an excerpt of an interview with her:

Speaking of pumpkins, are you a healthy eater?
I try. When I was 29 — I am 36 now — I lost about 35 pounds. I did it through Weight Watchers. That's when I learned how to eat properly for the first time. Before, I used to be one of those people who wouldn't eat anything all day, then eat a piece of cake at 4 p.m., McDonald's at 10 p.m., and then go to bed.

Well, if Tina Fey can do it, I can too.



BREAKFAST:

1 string cheese
Oatmeal


LUNCH

Chicken caesar salad (dressing on the side)
Whole-grain baguette


DINNER

2 Chicken legs

SNACK

Bowl of oatmeal

EXERCISE

Not much (leisurely walk to work and back - 2 miles)