BACK!

Okay, I'm back all the way up to 149 but I'm not gonna hate on myself. (But I haven't been posting for that very reason).

Tomorrow - to the gym!

more about breakfasts

More about breakfasts!

So I know in my last post, I was talking about savory breakfasts. Well, this time I am talking about NO breakfast at ALL. Oh, the horrors!

I am still committed to breakfast. Don't you worry. And I know all the studies say that you should eat breakfast, that it helps your blood sugar and gives you energy, and all that jazz. I believe it! However, when I start the day off eating when I am not hungry, it really sets off a bad chain of events. It's like I'm telling my body it's okay for me to force food in there when I don't want it.

So I'm really trying to listen to my body and if I'm not hungry in the morning, I won't eat. I did it today and yesterday and it was really pleasant. Later, I was actually hungry and I ate! Not only because it was time to eat (which it was) but because I was craving food.

I know that it's dangerous to do this because it leads to binge eating because you're so ravenous. I'm going to try to curb that by having snacks ready.

My aunt got me Rachael Ray's cookbook, which I was excited about, but there are very few pictures and many of the recipes involve things like ham, bacon, cream, almonds, tart-like things, etc. Sorry, RR. I'll have to go back to my favorite friend, Mark Bittman. Despite the lack of pictures, he uses words to make food sound so delicious.

Also, please excuse the spacey tone of this blog entry. I am currently sick and the cold medicine makes me zany. Back soon!

Breakfasts!

Thanks for the comment, K! My "new" thing (there's always a new thing, but I think it's more like a journey towards happiness and fulfillment) does have to do with breakfast.

In the past, I've been gently teased for eating the following for breakfast:

- Weight Watchers frozen fettucini alfredo meals
- Chicken legs
- Chicken Soup
- String Beans
- Cookies

Okay, so the cookies aren't particularly healthy, but why do I have to eat traditional breakfast foods if I don't want to? It's silly! I've long since given up dry cereal, which I'm happy about, but even though oatmeal is yummy and hearty, there isn't too much protein there. And often I'm too lazy and tired to make an omelet in the morning.

So I hereby reclaim my right as a free individual to eat whatever the hell I want in the morning, as long as it's healthy and tasty. Vegetables, chicken legs, leftover cous-cous, here I come. Luckily, our favorite food friend, Mark Bittman, agrees with me:


SAVORY BREAKFASTS

BACK TO THE GYM!

I went back to the gym today after a long hiatus.

(+) Exercising felt good

(-) I have very very short legs.

Straight Up Food Post

Today was probably a typical day for me when I am NOT mindful about eating. Granted, I woke up late and then babysat, but it's still fairly accurate.

BREAKFAST
(too lazy to actually make anything)

1 glass of grapefruit juice
1 string cheese
2 spoonfuls of peanut butter

SNACK
1 Milky Way

LUNCH
1.5 pieces of matzah
1 glass of orange juice
3 spoonfuls of egg salad
1 Baby Bell cheese

DINNER
1 Chicken Burrito
7-8 greasy chips
1 Corona Beer

It's like, none of it is egregiously awful, but I just lived today in a very slapdash way. Plus the only exercise I did was playing jump rope and Skip-It with my charge.

I don't say this to be like, "Why aren't I losing weight??" because days like this clearly say why. But I just think that if I only post days where I do well, it will be a dishonest blog for myself (and my loyal readers: I love all five of you very much!)

So I just ask for your support in my ongoing journey, which has lots of peaks and valleys. There are times that I feel awesome about myself and my body, and other times not so much. But I think that's true of everyone and I just fall somewhere along that spectrum,

In that vein, here's a link to a blog about Michelle Obama's biceps:

http://firstguns.tumblr.com/

Narcissism, Etc

So it's been a month since I posted last and it's been a yo-yo of a month. Busy, due to auf-rufs and weddings and out-of-town conferences on women's issues. I've used these events as an excuse to not exercise and it's done me wrong. But even though I got on the scale tonight and saw sad numbers, I'm not upset. I know that if I just go to the gym and eat well, I will lose weight.

My topic of choice tonight, as I return to this blog, is narcissism. (And it does have to do with weight loss). I have been trying to deal with my own narcissism and it comes up a LOT. I don't mean that I'm selfish or that I don't care about other people (I do!) but often I realize that what seems like insecurity is just plain self-centeredness.

For example, I am routinely un-tagging unflattering photos of me on Facebook. That's fine, I think most of us do that from time to time. But recently I realized that it was part of this trend where I am so concerned with how others see me that it becomes a bit preposterous. If I make a mistake or a social gaffe and I'm embarrassed and dwell on it, it usually doesn't dawn on me that most people are not particularly concerned with all Maggie all the time. And I think that's good lesson for me in general.

So the other day, there was a picture posted on Facebook of me, doing something cool and fun. But I hated the way I looked. I thought I looked fat and double-chin-y and bloated. But you know what? I kept it tagged. Because nobody is going to look at that picture and think, "Ha! I KNEW it! She's fat!" It's not a secret. Additionally, most people in my life know what I look like and can separate a good photo from an unflattering one without casting aspersions on my character.

And frankly, most people don't even care that much.

I hope this post didn't come off as depressing or bitter - I meant it in a liberating sense. I shouldn't be obsessed with what others are thinking of me, and should just focus on being the best Maggie I can be. There, now it's cheesy and uplifting. Hooray!

Oh, What A Tangled Web We Weave!

So I before the weekend, I was actually back to 143.5, but I did go to a pretty bangin' kiddush at my temple and then have a gala party that involved tons o' brownies, and then today I ate leftover oreos and Thai food SO yeah, I don't know what my status is.

I do know I'm going to the gym tomorrow night, after I get back from babysitting (we're going to the Central Park Zoo!)

Anyhoo, it's a slow trek, but it'll happen... my dress for the wedding is super tight and I hope I look curvy and not like a sausage. I mean, a beautiful sausage, but still a sausage.

All of this is making me think about my future wedding, if I have one. I'm so excited! I want to have a really fun, down-to-earth, feminist-flavored wedding. Ideally I'd have it in my parents' backyard, but it might not be big enough if this crazy family of mine keeps growing.

I google-image searched "feminist wedding" but just got weird crap. This was the only thing that made my heart soar. Ah, love.