Stay The Course

So yesterday I was pleased with myself because I went out for a friend's birthday and didn't drink at all. Not because I'm worried about alcoholism, just because I didn't want to spend money or waste carbs and calories on drinking. I can usually have just as much fun when I'm sober, and I did.

Then I found $2 in my pocket and got a chocolate bar. Oh, well. It was very yummy. For dinner all I had had were brussels sprouts and an apple, so I was hungry. Today I woke up really hungry and I had stayed the night at my friend's apartment in Park Slope. By the time I took four dumb trains back to Queens, I was really ravenous. So of course I've eaten loads today already.

Tonight I'm going out to dinner with a friend. I think my goal tonight is going to be: I MUST LEAVE A MORSEL OF FOOD ON MY PLATE.

This is my challenge - I always finish my plate regardless of whether or not I'm full. So...I've posted it here and let's see if I can do it.

LUNCH

Chicken noodle soup
2 clementines

SNACK

Oatmeal
Clementine


UPDATE: So I went to dinner and completely forgot about my little plan. However, at the fancy overpriced sushi restaurant, I ordered what I thought was a sushi roll, but ended up just being A PIECE OF SUSHI. One large piece of sushi. Or, rather, two large pieces of sushi. That's no meal (in my book). I also had miso soup.


DINNER

2 pieces of sushi
1 bowl of miso soup

DESSERT

Milky Way

(I've been having so much chocolate-craving lately!)

Snail's Pace

Holding steady at 145...I need to work a little harder at losing these next five pounds. Today is a good example of me eating a lot of dense foods even when I wasn't that hungry. On the plus side, I haven't snacked late at night in a long time.

Thanks for the exercise thoughts, Risch! I definitely feel good about myself when I exercise, because at least I'm burning some calories and doing something productive. Maybe when I do some actual running on the treadmill, I'll feel those magical endorphins. I used to get them when I really lost myself in exercise, like when dancing up a storm. I miss Dance Dance Party Party but it's held on Sundays, when I work at the Museum.

Lastly, every woman's hero (Tina Fey) used to be quite a bit heavier. As if I couldn't love her more - she had a weight problem. Sigh. Here's an excerpt of an interview with her:

Speaking of pumpkins, are you a healthy eater?
I try. When I was 29 — I am 36 now — I lost about 35 pounds. I did it through Weight Watchers. That's when I learned how to eat properly for the first time. Before, I used to be one of those people who wouldn't eat anything all day, then eat a piece of cake at 4 p.m., McDonald's at 10 p.m., and then go to bed.

Well, if Tina Fey can do it, I can too.



BREAKFAST:

1 string cheese
Oatmeal


LUNCH

Chicken caesar salad (dressing on the side)
Whole-grain baguette


DINNER

2 Chicken legs

SNACK

Bowl of oatmeal

EXERCISE

Not much (leisurely walk to work and back - 2 miles)

Mehhhhh

I know exercise is supposed to give you endorphins, but I exercised today and it made me sad that I didn't feel happier. What a vicious cycle. I also ate a big dinner because I had meant to eat a snack mid-day but it didn't happen.


BREAKFAST:

1 cup oatmeal
1 egg

LUNCH:

Quinoa
Brussels Sprouts
1 String Cheese

DINNER:

Salad
2 chicken legs
Quinoa Pasta
1 string cheese

EXERCISE:

20 minutes treadmill (alternating running and speed-walking, per K's suggestion)
15 minutes bicycle
Weights

My latest procrastination tool is watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Man, that show is awesome and super feminist, at least most of the time. I have such a soft spot for the old episodes.

Noshy

Another day of eating a lot of cheese (albeit "skim" and "low-fat"). Why is cheese so good? Alice just told me that her idea of eating a lot of cheese is eating a block of cheese surrounded by more cheese. So maybe I'm not doing too badly.

Today I had some thoughts about body dysmorphia (another word I'm apparently spelling wrong). I used to not comprehend how anorexics could look in the mirror and think of themselves as fat. Now I sort of understand it. When I look in the mirror, I can't look at myself objectively. It's a complete mystery to me what other people think when they look at my body. I almost want to give random people a survey: "How Would You Describe This Woman?" Fat? Chubby? Plump? Average? Obese? Round? Curvy? Normal?

I shouldn't worry about what other people think. But it's difficult. The hardest part of starting this blog was admitting that I had to lose weight. I was under the misguided notion that if I didn't tell anyone I was overweight that NOBODY WOULD KNOW. Hence, the "secret" dieting that always seemed to fall apart a week later. I'm hoping this is more sustainable.

And thanks Katie for the exercise suggestion! I am going to try adding some running to my repertoire, as long as it's in (very) short spurts.


BREAKFAST:

Zone Protein Bar (Caramel, not that good)
2 Egg Whites

LUNCH:

Salad
Low-fat/skim Polly-O cheese
Portabella Mushroom Burger (yummmmm)

SNACK:

Polly-O cheese

DINNER:

1 Chicken Leg
Brussels Sprouts
1 cup Oatmeal

EXERCISE:

25 minutes treadmill
30 minutes bicycle
Weights

Weekend Update

So I haven't been eating oh-so-well this weekend, but that's mostly due to alcohol. I've been trying to get better at protein consumption, and I've bought some eggs in order to make sure my breakfast is proteinous. (I thought that was a word?)

For instance, Saturday night I had the most sugary, carb-y drinks imaginable. Two margaritas and a Blue Moon beer. By the time I got to Hannah's, I was REALLY feeling those drinks, so when I went to the bathroom, I promptly took off all my clothes and weighed myself on her scale. It said 145 pounds! This makes me happy because it confirms that my scale isn't TOO crazy. It also means that at least as of Saturday, I have lost 7 pounds since I started this "magical weight loss journey" and slow-but-steady wins the race.

Also, with the exception of today, ever since I've joined the New York Sports Club, I've worked out EVERY DAY. Hooray! I don't run on the treadmill, I just speed-walk really fast, but I figure it's better for me to break a sweat doing something low-impact for 30 minutes than run for 3 minutes and give up. But am I wrong? Should I pushing myself a little harder? Keep in mind that I hate exercising.

Today's video is a hearkening back to the woman who inspired me to start this blog, Jennette Fulda. I know I posted a video of her before, but I don't think I posted this interview. I just think she's smart, pretty, and sassy and I love her blog.



BREAKFAST

Chicken noodle soup (I know, I'm weird but: PROTEIN!)

LUNCH

Zone protein bar
Low-fat/skim mozzarella stick

DINNER

Mushroom pizza slice
1 glass of Coney Island-inspired Beer
Diet Coke

DESSERT

Brownie (grrrr Alice you make delicious things)


Kind of a cheesy day, but onward and upward. Tomorrow = GYM!

It's fweaky

I got on the scale at the gym today and it was one of those doctor's office scales where you have to balance the weight. I find those confusing. The scale also said I was heavier than I thought I was. This made me depressed. But I also don't know if I was doing it right. I just want to know for sure how much I weigh! When I think I'm losing weight, I eat so much better because I'm excited and motivated. So today felt like a bummer, but go forth I shall.

Thanks for the support, Soph! I miss you!

In celebration of working out, I'll post a totally ridiculous music video I watched at NYSC while cycling, featuring one of my favorite people, Cornell Haynes Jr. (a.k.a NELLY)




BREAKFAST

1 cup oatmeal


LUNCH

Sweet potato
Vegetable bean soup


SNACK

Yogurt
Salad

DINNER

Quinoa pasta & Quorn meatballs
Salad
Wine

DESSERT

Yogurt #2


EXERCISE:

Leisurely walk to work & back (2 miles)
30 minutes bicycle
15 minutes treadmill
Weights

Day One of Actual Exercise

Today was the first day of hopefully many days at NYSC. It was nice and uncrowded, but I felt sort of awkward with all the weight equipment. I am small-statured so sometimes I think the machines should be adjusted for me, but I don't really want to mess with it. But I worked out for about an hour and it felt pretty good.

BREAKFAST

Oatmeal

LUNCH

Brussels Sprouts
Overpriced protein bar

DINNER

Quinoa/Kamut pasta with Quorn meatballs

EXERCISE:

Leisurely walk to work and back (2 miles)
30 minutes treadmill
30 minutes bicycle
Weights

I'm sure I'll have a snack later on as well. I was on my way to Key Food, my usual chain grocery store, but I wanted quinoa, so I ducked into the local organic store, Kai Organics. I'd never been in there, but I was swayed by the sign on their door: "THE BATHROOM INSIDE IS AVAILABLE FOR ALL HUMAN BEINGS. NO PURCHASE IS NECESSARY." And then some Buddhist quote. I really respect that. Everyone should be able to have urinary freedom.

Anyway, in addition to regular quinoa, they had these quinoa/kamut pasta twists, so I bought that as well. Ah, quinoa. Protein-filled miracle grain.




p.s. I just realized that I don't think my NYSC has ellipticals. TRAVESTY!